Had to go back to the doc again. Day 8 of the migraine and I woke up regurgitating which is more than any of you need to know :) so hubby took me to the doctor-again- to have more tests done than any human needs.
But the neatest thing was that while I was there, a woman was in the waiting room reading Dream Hunter. This is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone at random actually reading one of my books. I’ve seen them carrying them, male and female, in airports and out in places, or buying them. And I’ve had people send me lots of photos of people reading my books. But I’ve never randomly seen someone out in public reading one before… and the book looked well loved which made me feel good :)
I was trying to be inconspicuous as I watched, but I kept thinking, is she enjoying it? Please, please be enjoying it… Should I offer to autograph it? What should I do? I go through that a lot at stores too when I see someone buying one of my books. I always wonder if they’d like me to autograph it for them. I usually don’t say anything for one reason, I’m terrified they’ll rebuff me with something along the lines of, “well, I’m not really enjoying the book so I don’t want your signature.” Or “I didn’t have anything else to read so this is okay and I don’t want you to sign it.” Or worse, “why would I want your signature? You’re nothing important.” Which is true. I just write the books and in the grand scheme of things I’m no different than anyone else (this is why I’m constantly amazed at how many of you come to signings- God bless you for not leaving me out there to hang alone).
It’s one of those things that as a kid or even as an adult, it seemed like any time I put myself out there, I got slapped down by rudeness. It’s something that has made me terribly shy and I’m very awkward about approaching people I don’t know. Cases in point, I was at an RWA event and was an invited speaker. No one told me that I needed anything to come to the luncheon, to just come on and participate- that they would be thrilled to have me there. So I, in my innocence, went and the woman at the door very rudely informed me (in front of a huge crowd of people) that I wasn’t supposed to be there. I politely told her that I was Sherrilyn Kenyon, one of the speakers and that I’d been invited. The writer said and I quote, “I don’t know who you are or care who you are, you’re not supposed to be here. You need to leave.” And this was only a year ago. Of course the organizers were horrified that I left, but what I was supposed to do? I certainly didn’t want to argue with her and she refused to go check it with one of the organizers. It embarrassed me to death.
Another RWA event, I asked one of the volunteers where a publisher party was being held. She gave me one of those once-overs that make you feel like you’re unworthy to breathe her air and said, “You have to be published to go to those.” oookay…. I could have sworn I was pubbed, but whatever…
I was with Dara Joy a couple of years ago and Dara was fussing at me (as Dara does a lot LOL) about how I needed to be more outgoing. I told her why I didn’t feel comfortable doing that and she scolded me and said, “the next time a bookseller comes up, I want you to tell them who you are and hand them your business card.” I wasn’t going to, but Dara made me and when I handed the card to the bookseller, she looked at it, rolled her eyes and then tossed it on the table and walked off. This is why I treasure certain stores and staffs such as Sherlock’s in Lebanon, TN, Ann Arbor Borders and my local BN and BAM, among many others. You guys are always awesome and make everyone feel welcome.
Then there was a panel I was on right before the DH books came out (I’d had the League books out and 4 historicals at that point). A woman stood up to ask a question and pointed to me, “I don’t read you or know who you are so this isn’t for you. I have a question for the other two authors who I love and adore.” She opened the flood gates because the next three people who stood up said and did the same thing to me.
I can go on and on with many more examples of similar events, some that have happened even in this past year. So suffice it to say that I don’t feel comfortable putting my neck out there to get it chopped off if I don’t have to. I have so little ego as it is, that I really don’t want it kicked any harder than necessary. So if you see me in public, I can assure you that I will never, ever make you feel as low as other people have made me feel in my life. No matter what I’m doing, even if I’m sick, I would be delighted to sign your book. But if you see me and I don’t offer, I’m not being stuck up or snotty. I’m just too scared to approach you :)
And to that unknown woman in the doctor’s office– you really made my day and I really, really, really hope you liked the book :)
Now I’m off to work. You guys take care.