This whole concept of eating is still relatively new to me. Thanks to Tory, I’ve discovered some of the greatest creations of all time, and I now understand why Kyrian was willing to risk Amanda’s wrath over beignets.

Today, I discovered the downside. Tory was sleeping late which is extremely unusual for her. I decided to be nice and quiet in the kitchen. I started to make breakfast when it dawned on me that I don’t cook. I just watch Tory cook, which she does while singing off-key and dancing around the kitchen barefoot. Why do I find that so sexy?

Anyway, since I’ve only been eating a short time, it was never anything I had to worry about. So I summoned Simi.

If anyone knows food, it’s my girl.

My girl doesn’t cook either. She just eats like a horse with a busted hypothalamus. And she thought I’d lost my mind for even asking her such “a ridiculously akri-esque” question.

“Well, akri, do what the Simi do whenever she really, really hungry and there’s nothing around that akri won’t fuss if I eat, and Alexion is off making strange noises with Danger.   Make some cereal… The Simi tried to make toast once. Akri don’t want to do that. Not even BBQ sauce can save burnt toast or burnt popcorn. But the Simi digresses. Eat some cereal… with milk. Again, not tasty with BBQ sauce. Not sure why, but trust me on this.”

So I thanked her and went to the pantry where I made the startling discovery that Tory really likes cereal. A lot. I didn’t even know there were that many flavors. Nor did I know that she had a reason for some of them.

That was an unhappy discovery. I poured a bowl of high fiber something. It wasn’t bad. Not as good as some of the others, but I ate a couple of bowls with some cut up bananas… until my stomach started protesting.

Yeah… that’s the last time I eat without Tory’s guidance. Those things should come with a warning label. BM in a bowl. The only thing that was good about it… Tory still laughs every time I go near a bowl of any kind. I love to hear her laugh. So I guess it was worth it. And in the end, I learned a valuable lesson.

You’re never too old to do something incredibly stupid.