Music and Writing

August 10 2011

My passion for music, like writing, came to me the moment I was born. Seriously. I can’t remember a time in my life when music and writing weren’t huge portions of who and what I am.

My father was a musician who played guitar, banjo, dulcimer, dobro, and harmonica. From that list, you can tell what kind of music he favored. I know every word to every Hank Williams song ever written :) It was impressed upon my young mind before I could even speak. Whenever I think of my father, the image that always comes to mind is of him sitting at the foot of his bed dressed in his army BDU pants, combat boots tapping/keeping time to whatever he was playing, and a white t-shirt with dogtags hanging down while he played and sang for hours on end.

On weekends, we would often go visit my Uncle Carlos who played even more instruments. They’d sit out front, on the porch while my aunt fed me pound cake. My older brother also played guitar and harmonica. I tried, but I’m naturally left handed and my right is partially paralyzed so while I love to torture a guitar, it’s not my best instrument.

My entire family loved music so it was always playing in the background of everything we did. We had a stereo in every room and since my crib and later bed shared a room with my teenaged siblings, I always slept to the radio.

I started building playlists for books as far back as third grade. Much like a movie, music added to the mood and it helped me to focus on the characters and stories, especially whenever I found a song that really seemed to capture the feeling of the character or book I was working with.

Another reason music is so important to me is that my oldest sister has severe cerebral palsy and is deaf. Trish would scream at the top of her lungs from early morning to the wee hours of the night. The kind of screams that people equate with someone being murdered. She was so loud that as a teen, I couldn’t talk on the phone much with friends because you couldn’t hear over her, even though she was in another room. She’d also pound on the walls. Since Trish never slept much (2 hours if we were lucky), I couldn’t sleep at night for her screaming and pounding. Not until I discovered the wonderful world of headphones. I used to go to bed with the loudest, heaviest metal and punk songs I could find so that they’d drown her out. I love my sister. She’s just really, really loud.

All of that coalesced to create within me a devout respect for music of all kinds. In fifth grade, I mowed lawns to buy a recorder so that I could join the school band. I wanted to play drums, but my mother thought it was a boy’s instrument and refused to allow me to be a percussionist. It was the flute for me (and still is). I played flute for the symphonic band, french horn in the concert band and was the sound tech for our jazz ensemble.

As a young woman, I ended up working soundboards for local bands, working for years and years as a DJ, was the lead guitarist in several bands, but my favorite was working as a music video producer for local Atlanta and Athens bands. I’ve been a music director and station manager for both college and rock stations. It was a lot of fun.

While I worked as a DJ, I’d be in the booth writing the whole time, and it was there that I started producing a true playlist for my books that I’d burn to a CD to take everywhere I went. I still remember when the first generation of MP3 players came out…

Okay, it was in 1997 and I couldn’t afford one, but I really, really wanted to have one. For Christmas 1998, a good friend took mercy on me and gave me a Personal Jukebox that held over 1200 songs and I was in hog heaven with my book playlists (I was working as a web programmer then and was never seen without my Jukebox which I still have). Yeah, it’s a dinosaur, but I still love it.

So naturally, I still do playlists for every book. My hubby and kids always say they can tell when I’m writing a fight scene by what they hear streaming out of my office.

And while I have as many as 200 songs that I put in a book’s playlist (everything from rock, thrash, punk, alternative, country, opera, classical, hip hop to rap), there is always, always the one that really captures the feeling of the book and characters. That one song that even years after I’ve published the book, when I hear it play, takes me right back to what I was doing and thinking as I wrote.

For Dance With The Devil, it will always be Matchbox Twenty’s Unwell:

All day starin’ at the ceilin’ makin’ friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices tellin’ me that I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for somethin’
Hold on, feelin’ like I’m headed for a breakdown
And I don’t know why

But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know, right now you can’t tell
But stay a while and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me

I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know, right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be, me

I’m talkin’ to myself in public, dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they’ve all been talkin’ about me
I can hear them whisper, and it makes me think
There must be somethin’ wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinkin’, somehow I’ve lost my mind

But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know, right now you can’t tell
But stay a while and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me

I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know, right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I’ve been talkin’ in my sleep
Pretty soon they’ll come to get me
Yeah, they’re takin’ me away

I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know, right now you can’t tell
But stay a while and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me

I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know, right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be yeah, how I used to be

How I used to be
Well, I’m just a little unwell
How I used to be, how I used to be
I’m just a little unwell

Is that not Zarek? I think so :)

My younger brother, Warchild has also helped out by writing songs for specific books and characters. You can always check him out on his site OfficialWarchild.com and Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1209038518.

My ever quest for that one perfect song has led me to discover some great talents over the years. One of my recent ones was offered as a 69 cent download on iTunes and it ended up being the theme for The Guardian. It completely captured the mood and feel of Seth.

Come Home by OneRepulic

Hello world
Hope you’re listening
Forgive me if I’m young
For speaking out of turn
There’s someone I’ve been missing
I think that they could be
The better half of me
They’re in the wrong place trying to make it right
But I’m tired of justifying
So I say you’ll..

[Chorus]
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there’s a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
So come home
Oh

I get lost in the beauty
Of everything I see
The world ain’t as half as bad
As they paint it to be
If all the sons
If all the daughters
Stopped to take it in
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin
It might start now..Yeah
Well maybe I’m just dreaming out loud
Until then

Everything I can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why I need you here
Everything I can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why I need you here
So hear this now

Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there’s a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home
Come home

And then earlier this morning, I found the perfect song that really captures Darling in Born of Silence. Ironically, it’s a song I’ve heard a thousand times and loved, but it never spoke to me the way it did today.

Creed’s Overcome

“Overcome”

Don’t cry victim to me
Everything we are and used to be
Is buried and gone
Now it’s my turn to speak
It’s my turn to expose and
Release what’s been killing me
I’ll be damned fighting you
It’s impossible, impossible
Say goodbye, with no sympathy

I’m entitled to overcome
Completely stunned and numb
Knock me down, throw me to the floor
There’s no pain I can feel no more
I’m entitled to overcome,
Overcome

Finally see what’s beneath
Everything I am and hope to be
Cannot be lost
I’ll be damned fighting you
You’re impossible, impossible
Say goodbye, with no sympathy

I’m entitled to overcome
Completely stunned and numb
Knock me down, throw me to the floor
There’s no pain I can feel no more
I’m entitled to overcome.

[Break]

Overcome

You’ll never know what I was thinking before you came around
Take a step, take a breath, put your guard down
I cannot worry anymore of what you think of me
I may be crazy but I’m buried in your memory

[Solo]

I’m entitled to overcome
Completely stunned and numb
Knock me down, throw me to the floor
There’s no pain I can feel no more (to feel no more)
I’m entitled to overcome (to feel no more)
Completely stunned and numb (to feel no more)
I’m entitled to overcome
Completely stunned and numb
I’m entitled to overcome,

I may be crazy but I’m buried in your memory

Several people have commented on how angry Darling’s playlist is. Once you read the book, you’ll completely understand. Darling, much like Seth in The Guardian, is one of those characters who was caught between a rock and a hard place his entire life. Anyone who has lived that way (and that includes me) knows that there comes a breaking point when you really can’t do it anymore and you have to make a decision. You either relegate yourself to misery for the rest of your life and suck it up as best you can, or you find the strength to push back and stand on your own, no matter the consequences (which can be very harsh).

I’m mad as hell and I’m not taking it anymore. Both Seth and Darling have that moment. But while Seth was put there by the actions of others and against his will, Darling wasn’t. Like the Dark-Hunter Ren, he chose his hell and that makes it all the harder to break out and to reclaim his place in the world. What he’s done has always been to protect others, and when those others betray him one time too many, Darling snaps.

I love the journeys my people take me on. With each book, I learn so much about them and about myself. And I hope if you haven’t perused the playlists on the book pages that you’ll give them a look. Remember that in that handful of songs on the book pages is the “one” song always that captures the book best. See if you can pick it out and if you agree with me.

And don’t forget to visit the Warchild profile.